EXPLORING PAST BEHAVIORS -- AN EXCERPT

 

In one of my latest WIPs, which I have called Interior Designs, I have created a story for a flawed character from Embrace the Whirlwind.  Martha's story shows that, beneath the surface, there are explanations for some of her behavior, and that there is something redeemable about her.

The memories of my childhood insecurities had bombarded me constantly after the demise of my marriage.  Almost as if I could point to the exact moments when my future failures had been ingrained in my psyche.Those moments when I realized that I wasn’t “good enough” to warrant the attention of either of my parents.
  
Oh, they hadn’t been negligent—not really—but their focus had always been on each other.  Us kids were gifted with the occasional glance, or the necessary care; almost like an afterthought.
  
We knew what it meant to be children of parents who had eyes only for each other.
   
Now, though, I realized that I could retrieve some of that old persona, the façade that had protected me in the past—if I wanted to do so.
  
And I did want to strut my stuff for Zach.  To showcase some of the finest moments available in my repertoire, in order to see how impressed he might be with my efforts.  Sort of like wearing a great outfit or showing off a new hairstyle.
  
Which reminded me:  how long had it been since I’d changed my style?
  
So I’d booked an appointment with Javier, in my favorite salon.  When I sat down in the chair, I turned to him and said the words he could never have imagined:  Reinvent me, Javier.
  
At first he’d laughed, thinking I was joking, but then he quickly started playing around with my hair, lifting, visualizing, and then he began.
  
I emerged a couple of hours later scarcely recognizing myself.
  
My former bob had been transformed into a very up-to-the-minute chic style that reminded me of a French runway model I’d seen in a magazine.  I would never have imagined a style this short on me, but it worked.  I turned from side to side, admiring the shape of the cut and how it made my cheekbones pop.  My eyes looked larger, too, and I exclaimed:  “Wow!”     
  
Javier laughed.  “You approve?”
  
“Oh, definitely.  How easy will it be for me to keep it up?”
  
“Very simple,” he replied, and then proceeded to tell me exactly how to recreate the style, including which products to use.
  
Back home that afternoon, I made a list for the menu I’d chosen.  And then I took a glass of white wine out to my gazebo, along with a book I’d decided to read.  Putting my feet up, I visualized a life of leisure and love.
  
When was the last time I’d even taken a vacation?  Work had been the centerpiece of my life.
    

Maybe it was time for a change.  But I couldn’t just disappear from my obligations.  There was, however, no reason not to book a cruise of my own this summer.  Who knew?  Maybe by then I could persuade Zach to join me.